Lesbians holding hands on a Starbucks coffee cup??

With Christmas quickly approaching, the imaginary war on everyone’s favorite imaginary holiday always helps me get in the spirit.

The latest Christmas offense is from Starbucks’ recent marketing campaign and “suggestive” coffee cup promoting the LGBTQ community.

A commercial unveiling the cups briefly shows two women drinking coffee and placing their hands together while across a table in what is an “obvious” attack on our nation’s faltering morals. The mind-numbing outrage is only being furthered since Starbucks decided to place a pair of unknown hands gripped together that many are debating belong to a same-sex couple.

This so called “gay agenda” that Starbucks is said to be pouring down our coffee-addicted throats has given rise to another series of boycotts for the coffee giant, according to the New York Daily News.

Via the New York Daily News:

Starbucks hasn’t resolved the issue of whether the hands are same-sex or not.

The theme of the cups is “Give Good.” Customers are invited to color in the drawings of hearts, presents and a Christmas tree — and those hands.

“Each year during the holidays we aim to bring our customers an experience that inspires the spirit of the season,” the coffee chain said in a statement. “And we will continue to embrace and welcome customers from all backgrounds and religions in our stores around the world.”